Finally decided to post on FB about GirlGirl's leaving.
The thing with me, i have this thing... i like to surpress unpleasant emotions, especially when it comes to "departures"... and i'll try to cover it up, forcing myself to think that i'm fine, laughing and joking... when inside all i really want to do is to just hide in a hole and emo all to myself.
It's not a good thing really, yet, this is another conflicting personality of mine.
Knowing me, i would like to talk about it and get it all out so i will feel better... but if in company, i don't want to bore people with my emo-ness and prefer to just laugh it out, turn it into a joke... then when i'm by myself i'll start brooding FTS.
I don't know what to say about this; that i know myself too well, or i don't know myself at all!
I hope by coming to terms with her leaving, i'll learn to accept that it is a fact that i'll never ever get to see her again when i go back, and to stop being in denial and emo-ing.
She'll always be in my heart, and i miss her so much, but i know she'll be happy wherever she is with the rest of the gang. (^^ )