Its over now...

3 months ago on the same date, a nightmare has occured.

A nightmare which you could not wake up from.

A nightmare which, even if you could wake up from, it could not go back to as it was before.


Even though it had been 3 whole months, i still remember how it was at that time.

How bad it was.

How bad everything seemed.

It seemed as if the sun couldn't shine again.

It felt as if there were no beaches in the world anymore.

It felt as if all animals had extinct.

I didn't feel like doing anything... because i couldn't.

Like a mindless soul in an empty shell.

Not feeling the appetite to eat, which is saying something considering we're talking about ME here!

I didn't know whats smile or laugh.

I just know i had to "force smile".

When deep inside i have no feelings at all.


There's one person i really wanted to thank, which i never had the chance to before because it seemed awkward to say such sentimental stuffs at real life! But now that i'm writting... hehe!~

Thats to my dearest Auntie!

Who had kept me strong and well-informed throughout the whole time!

Thank you Auntie (^^ )!

Ah, without you, i don't know what would've happened to me!

감사합니다!~~


She had also strictly forbidden me to watch any news clip of the accident.

She really meant it that i felt she would appear any second behind me and take my laptop away!

Or worst, input the virus ERIC into my harddisk!

So thus, i obediently follow...

...

... till i lost my mind and gatal gatal go open and watch one news clip.

And then i saw.

The Angel being lifted up onto the stretcher... rolling around in pain...

When i saw that clip, i didn't know what i felt.

I don't even know how i felt.

Its like watching a movie.
Where if you see the actor getting hurt, its not like you will feel hurt too, because hey, its acting...

But this is not acting.

This is real life.

Its someone who you love right infront of you, in pain and hurt.

That said...

I didn't have any emotions then. I couldn't feel anything.

I feel like asking "Is this a joke?"... "Is this real?"

Apparently... no... it did happen...

It has happened...


Because of me being emotionless, i remember writing like 10 posts that night.

I was numb from emotions because it hurts to feel.

I couldn't cry anymore because tears had became so precious.

Its like the whole world seize to exist and all thats left is... nothing.

Like a bucket of black paint was poured onto a pure white canvas.

Suddenly nothing seemed right.


However...

When news of how they were doing came, and things got better... the situation gets brighter.

Its like you were drowning in your own tears, that when the news came its like taking a deep breath of fresh air.

Thank God everything got better!

And slowly, emotions were back at its proper place.

Everything was falling back to its place.


The members had taken a short holiday due to the accident.

Though so, being professionals, DongHee, who also got injured in the accident but not as serious, came back to record a few episodes of his show even though he was just discharged and needed rest.

SiWon and HanGeng were suppose to record a show in China, but because of the accident, they couldn't but they still went specially to China to apologize to the station, then only went back to Korea as soon as possible afterwards.

I still remember how KangKing got during ChunJi.

Everything had become quiet in the hostel. Nobody talked for 4 days in the hostel...

Then slowly, Hyuky came back, and all the members then resumed their schedules.

Angel came back on May 21st for Sukira only despite still injured, then afterwards slowly resuming other schedules!

And finally, last last Friday on the 6th of July, Baby was discharged from the hospital (^^ )!

Though he still needed to go back for treatment, he is currently at the comfort of his own home (^^ )!

At that moment, hearing of his discharge, i felt as if a strong burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

Hey, i'm a fan. This is how i'm suppose to feel (^^ )!


There's one thing i love about being a fangirly.

It teaches you to be grateful for everything you had.

Every moment.

Every feeling you had felt.

The emotions you'll feel are like a rollercoster ride, which nothing else could give you =)!

I like it!~


Teehee!~


Baby is back home!~