It is with utmost regret for me to inform you guys that i have, unfortunately, gained a lot (a lot a lot) of weight from my recent trip to the land down under, Australia.
So i hereby declare that anyone, no matter who, who makes even the slightest mention or comment about my weight, or weight in general (or anything which i deemed related*), shall have their heads down the nearest toilet bowl. Or hanged by their toes.**
* My decision regarding such comments (whether they are or not related) shall be final.
** Whichever choice is to be decided by me, which is also final.