Self-righteous and judgmental people.

I HATE THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE TO THE CORE.
Especially those who starts preaching (non-religious way) how you should be, you shouldn't do this and that...

Who am i? Am i living through you or something? Do i have to live through you to be living, alive and all those?


There are people i admire, because they bring themselves around very well. Not the least pretentious, and just very, well, "ME". (not "me", as in me myself and all, but rather, "they are very themselves" lar!)

But there are also those who goes around judging everyone else but themselves, being kinda pretentious "i am like this" (when in actual fact they are not), and judging others and putting the way they live as the way YOU should live.
And also go around thinking they know you very well based on what they judge from the surface, and assume who you are (OMG these are the worst!), and not even bothering to know what is actually behind etc. Or why do you act this way.

When actual fact... they aren't all-that.
It's like they are so caught up with judging others etc they forget to judge themselves.

And it's usually those people who actually go against whatever they had said or judge about other people. It makes them, well... there's no other word for it, a hypocrite.

And i don't like to think of someone i know that way.
I don't know, if it's someone you respect - a person elder than you, or a friend etc - it makes you lose your respect for that person, and i don't like that feeling.


I don't want to go around saying, "i am like this", because i know i'm one of the most contradicting person around.
Contradict, mind, not hypocrite.
...
Well, maybe a bit but let's not go there.

And maybe by writing this it's like i'm judging others liao isn't it? Sure someone else will come along and say, "hey you are also like that".

Now i won't say you are wrong, but i won't say you are right either. This kind of stuff is kinda subjective don't you think? Nobody's way to live is the most absolute. Something which you think is ok, may not be ok with me isn't it?


So to put it simple, i live the way i want to. As long as i can justify and explain it to myself, as long as i can live with it, then ok it is!
If i may had did something which makes others think i'm pretentious and hypocrite, well, i can't say i blame them (it being a subjective thing and all...)... as long as i know that i am doing it for myself only, and no one else (to see whatsoever), then that is all i need!
Yes, it's ALL ABOUT ME =D!

Life is well, LIFE. It's not a bloody contract where every time i say or do something, i have to come up with all those clauses etc etc to back myself up you know. I don't want to live my life worrying that i have to be by the book - strictly - and all.

I want to LIVE, be ALIVE... and not live my life by being a bloody contract (or a book) duh!


I think i'm kind of a very "to-your-face" kind of person. And hey, if you can't accept me for who i really am, there's nothing much i can do you know. So nothing i shall do =D!


As quoting Marilyn Monroe:

"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

And that is very well-said indeed!

Two of my favourite frontman ever.

And very crazy and random and retarded like me at it. That's why i love 'em! (^^ )



Credit: Photo very glamourously and obviously stolen from Martin's Blog =D!

Before-and-after

This is my Before i cut my hair!

Long-haired pillock! =D

This is After!

Small boy!! ♡

But do you know i can just swap both picture and *still* call it a Before-and-After picture??
Like this!

WHY??
...
Because my hair will always looks the same once it's grows long no matter what style i cut what turf.

But i love Awesome very much so it's ok XD!!!

I hate school holidays.

Oh bloody hell.

I *have* to write this down.

Was in Rock Corner @ OU just now checking out The All-American Rejects' and Boys Like Girls CD.
So while i was looking-looking... the Rock Corner guy came over and showed the two munchkin girls AAR's Move Along CD.

This is the conversation as below:
Munchkin: "Oh no, i'm not looking for this one, their first album, the self-titled one." *proudly*
Dude: "Oh that one, that one's not available, because it's an independent album..."

And i swear my glasses almost drop then. And it really did happen.

The munchkin proceeded to go, very dramatically:
"WHY!!!"
Yes, she WHINED.
In broad daylight in public in-front of two strangers!!

I was like OMG am i really seeing this?

So the dude proceeded to explain...
Dude: "Because it's an independent album, so it won't be easy to find anywhere."

You would've thought his explanation was good enough, but no, because munchkin went again:
"WHY??? *realizes how whiney she sound* Oh ok ok, thank you bye bye *leaves shop with other munchkin*."

Like OMG.
So now you know why i hate school holidays so much ey?
It's the MUNCHKINS. I swear it's them. OMG.

Munchkin-issues aside...
You know you are a super horrible fan, when ME, *the* most horrible fan in the world (check previous post), calls you a "bad fan"...
Which part of independent do you NOT understand???
Ok, maybe you *do* understand independent, but rather, just want to whine (and drama) because you can't get like, the most Awesomest band ever's first album...

BUT BLOODY HELL PLEASE DON'T WHINE IN-FRONT OF ME PLEASE I WILL WANT TO SMACK YOU!!!
Because YOU are a munchkin, and it is bad enough the mall's jam-packed with people!! And since school holidays started i have to put up with YOU GUYS some more!! Whining like that isn't going to help you guys survive in OU seriously!!!
BLAH!!!


I tweeted this earlier:
I don't mind the munchkins, i just mind the munchkins A LOT. If you ruin any movie for me with your squealing YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!

And i pray for the sanity and peace of people who follow my tweets, because i am sure i will rant like mad about munchkins ruining my life.

Bands.

Let's face it, growing up sucks!!
I want to be a kid forever and move into Disneyland!! YEAH! XD

But one part of growing up which i do like is discovering new things about myself everyday! The possibility is limitless/ endless/ blah-blah =)!

And one of the few things i discovered, well, not "recently", but definitely er, recently... what turf.
Ignore that, ehem... neeways, one of the few things i discovered is my preference in music. My choice in music and all!

I love music! I like relating stuffs to songs i heard and everything. Lyrics are a beautiful thing (i have a thing with words, that said, i hate poetry. Nuff said.)!

While my choice of music, the music i like and listen to often is very limited, but hey, whatever lar! I'm the one listening you know!

I love bands, it is official. I super heart bands! There is just something i super like when it comes to music which has an infusion of drums and electric guitar!
My favourite genre of music is Alternative Rock, or Pop Rock. I never know how to categorize which-is-which, but 3 of my favourite bands are of that genre, so that genre it is hehe!

And like how i don't know how to tell genres apart, my knowledge on how a band's instrument is are also quite limited. I have totally no idea how does a rhythm guitar sounds in a band. I'm like a 5-year-old in a car factory. Wheels go on car, bam, it moves.
Same, mine is "guitar - check. drums - check. bass - check... ok you have a band" what turf.

But it's ok! I don't want to sound all pretentious especially when i really know nothing about it!! If i know then ok, i have all rights to be pretentious, haha!

And yes, i don't update myself with new songs and everything. I may dig something out years later, and then suddenly like it. Old, but whatever, i like can liao!


I know how to listen nya, i know how to appreciate music which i like nya, and if it's good enough for me, it will have to be for you. =D

Awesomest best band ever.

I heart The All-American Rejects.

There's just something super awesome about them which i super heart! (^^ )

And yes, "the worst fan ever" (ME!!) did it again!
I was wondering if it is possible for the lead vocal to play the bass, instead of the guitar and all you know, and whaddya know...

My fave (awesomest) band is actually so (lead vocal play bass)...
... and i just "baru" found out.
Super bloody frying-pan-smack-in-the-face moment.

Anyways!!
Oh yeah! AAR XD!

A tweet between er... animals.

Start with number 15 (the last one), and work it to number 1 (the first one), because that's how Tweet works!

1. _eikochan
   @Amanda2687 Msg-ed her to get one liao, hope she'll get it. I swear i'll tweet to both of you so much you'll delete your twitters. HAH! XD
   
   
2. _eikochan
   OMG i am getting retarded-er day by day. I blame it on @Amanda2687.
   
   
3. Amanda2687
   @_eikochan ask the poggy to get herself a twitter so we can annoy her life...
   
   
4. _eikochan
   @Amanda2687 I know how to kill you liao, i just need to stick a mirror in the bottom of the pool!! Get it XD??
   
   
5. _eikochan
   @Amanda2687 Good plan. When shall we do it?? ROFL!!
   
   
6. Amanda2687
   @_eikochan okay the plan is, lure her into a mountain of awesome food(but with limited supply, cos we need it after plan), than COOK HER!
   
   
7. _eikochan
   Cow and Pig are best friends with the sado Monkey. Awesomeness.
   
   
8. _eikochan
   RT @_eikochan "@Amanda2687 Eh, let's plot to kill Pig first. I don't feel good if she's the only one to survive between the three of us."
   
   
9. _eikochan
   @Amanda2687 Eh, let's plot to kill Pig first. I don't feel good if she's the only one to survive between the three of us.
   
   
10. _eikochan
    Yes, even when it's right next to super busy Bangkok streets or on pedestrian ways super high above the street fall down can die those type.
    
    
11. Amanda2687
    @_eikochan And you know that I will be the first to succeed in the master evil plan.. muahahaha..
    
    
12. _eikochan
    I think we secretly hate each other deep down, that every time we meet we'll unknowingly plot to kill each other by pushing the other away.
    
    
13. Amanda2687
    @_eikochan -_-"
    
    
14. _eikochan
    Yes, i too wonder how our relationship really is like to begin with.
    
    
15. _eikochan
    How two best friends greet each other on MSN - @Amanda2687: "U SUCK!!", @_eikochan: "BITCH!!!"

Because we are retarded like that!! Lols! XD

Leopard Seals.

I find a lot of adults like to teach kids that, "Ok, this is a puppy. It is cute and harmless."
And then, "Ok, this is a (put dangerous animal here: shark, crocs etc). It is a "bad animal"."

Kids are simple. They don't know anything "in between". They just know "bad" and "good", kinda like superheroes and villains see. Nothing is ever in the middle, generally speaking of course.
So if you're big and ugly, you are "bad".
If you're cute and adorable, you are "cute".
Nuff said.

Seriously, it always gives me the super WHAT TURF thing in my head. Talk about teaching your kids "the right thing" *snort*!!
I think its what adults teach kids which is probably why so many animals are actually going extinct, because we don't bother educating them on whats really important, which is conservation of all species because it is all interlinked!

Yes, go on thinking: "Here she goes going on and on about Shark conservation."
Hey, it's because deep down YOU KNOW I AM RIGHT, but you're just ashamed to admit that YOU ARE WRONG, and thus, you mock me!!

It's ok, we are all just human =D!


Anyways...
When i have a kid, i'm going to let them watch "The Lion King", and teach them how there are no such things as "bad animal" or "good animal". And i am going to teach them about "The Circle of Life".
Because, well, that's how i learned as well.

It's all about respecting you see. Every animal (generally speaking) has a right to live in this world. There is a reason why they existed.

There's no such thing as "good or bad" when it comes to animals, wow, like "sharks are bad because they eat cute wittle seals", but turf, have you ever thought about the consequence if your "cute wittle seals" over-populated??


Anyways, check this video out, i was totally amazed and everything!!

So totally awesome!!
I wonder how it feels really! It's like... WOW!


One of my favourite animals has got to be Leopard Seals! So adorable =3!
Yes, i have a thing for "dangerous animals"! No, i do not wish to swim or be anywhere near them! But yes, i really do like them!
I guess because well, most "dangerous animals" are always misunderstood... so i think i can relate to them. And i personally feel that if you understand an animal enough, instead of fearing them, you respect them and thus, you would feel the necessity to conserve/ protect them. Hmm...

Neeways, small confession!
When i went to Sydney last June this year, i badly wanted to go to Taronga, but my cousins thought that since we were to go to Australia Zoo, we can give this a miss.
I thought i was ok with it, but well...

Long story short, was supposed to go on a cruise with mom and cousins and nephews on Friday, when on a spur of the moment, like 5-minute decision making thingy (something i'm never good at, decision making between two things i wanted, AND I HAVE TO MAKE IT QUICK!!), i have to decide either to go for the cruise with my cousins and mom, or Taronga alone.

I chose Taronga, and changed my cruise ticket for Taronga 5-minutes before the ship to Taronga leaves! Talk about being spontaneous!!
I guess it's a little bit sad having to miss out time with mom and cousins, and cruise!! But hehe, no regrets! I have such an amazing day at Taronga!! Though i did waste a lot of time at the first half of the trip (long story), but still, it was hell of an amazing experience! I LOVE TARONGA! XD

What eventually made me decide to go for Taronga was, well:
- World-class Zoo
- Platypus!!
- Leopard seal =3!
And yes, i am a sucker for (proper and world-class) zoos (which is why PETA and i will never get along).

They are the only Zoo in the world to have Leopard Seals!!
After watching Eight Below and learning about Leopard Seals (although they *are* portrayed as the "mean animals" in the film but whatever), i don't know, i just feel this fascination to want to see them!!
And wow, i can't tell you how much i love Leopard Seals!
Seeing them in front of you, it's just so amazing! The way they swim and everything, i was amazed! I think i could sit in-front of their underwater glass-display the whole day just looking at them (^^ )!

It's a wonderful experience, being able to visit Taronga, which is something i am super grateful for, and one thing i would never ever trade for anything else!


So stop being a wuss, and teach kids the right thing. To respect animals, not to fear them. Nuff said!!

Reasons.

Why it's good to not have a favourite member.
- You don't have to decide.
- You can choose to buy fan-goods of members which looks good nya, instead of die-die only buy the goods of that member you like nya.
- You have 13 awesome members.

Why it's NOT good to not have a favourite member.
- Most fan-goods of different members, majority are always nicer looking so you ended up buying more as compared to if you have only ONE favourite member.
- Every single member's business is YOUR business.

But because you love them all, so it's ok!! (^^ )

This is my musical monologue.

Totally inspired by (more like totally copy) Taylor Swift's SNL monologue. Actually, i just edited part of the lyrics to fit my own nya, haha!
Don't mind the rhyme and stuffs! And why i might be singing a SNL monologue what turf! I'm just being random =D!

I wrote the whole thing in round 20 minutes, but most of the first part was formed while i was er, stoning in class, hehe!
*re-reads the whole thing*
Oh yeah, i am so totally random and retarded!

I like Orange Juice and think SuJu is the best, but i'm not gonna talk about that in my monologue.

I like cute frontman who plays guitar in a band, but i'm not gonna talk about that in my monologue.

La la la~
La la la~

I like tweeting and being totally~ random, but i'm not gonna be one now in my monologue.

I like writing random stuffs in my Blog, and rant and rant and rant, but i'm not gonna say that in my monologue.

*music*

La la~
La la la la la~

This is my musical monologue.

*music*

You might think i'd talk about Lauren, who sits next to me in class, but i'm not gonna mention her in my monologue.

"Hey Lauren! Waddup!!"

I am skipping class today.
But i'm not gonna brag about that in my monologue.

La la la~
Ha ha ha~
Ha ha ha~
Ha ha ha~
La la la~

And if you're wondering if i might be totally into Martin from BLG...
*Blows kiss*
*Wink*
I'm not gonna comment on that in my monologue.

La la~
La la la la la~
This is my musical monologue.

*music*

You might be expecting me to say how much i love eating and food, and how i'm trying to lose weight, and ruining my diet monologue.

*sigh*

But there's nothing more to say cause everything's ok.
I'm gonna eat to my heart's content~~~
*strumming*

In my SNL monologue.

La la~
La la la la la~~

This is my SNL monologue.

La la~
La la la la la~~

That was my SNL monologue.

- Originally by Taylor Swift.
Edited-random-retarded-version by eiko-chan.

The whole idea (to create my own version what turf) came from this afternoon before class, when i was listening to this song and drinking Orange Juice at the same time, and i sort-of just fitted OJ into the first line, and everything start from then, hehe!

Oh yeah, i'm awesome! I'm so going to learn to chords to this song =D!



ps: I think i have another version which one part's about AAR's Tyson! Hehe! Maybe in time shall create another weird version, LOLS!

8-months.

No, i'm not 8-months pregnant lar.
Even though i may look like one what turf. (Ok, to be fair, 5-months not so scary ok FYL)
Bloody hell. If that is the first thing you thought of.

But rather, it has been 8-MONTHS since i last had McDs in Malaysia.
No, i'm not kidding, not even the slightest.
I'm trying to make it to a ONE YEAR feat, do you think i can?

No lar, that's not mine! I asked my bro to take a pic of his (and made sure he stay well away from me).

I thought i couldn't, but i actually made it past 8-months liao!! Can you believe it?
Sure, sometimes i miss the fries like mad!! Especially at night (especially when PMS what turf)!!
But thankfully, CousinKat is back in Bangkok liao (no more midnight 1am McDs-escapades *sobs*!!), and i used my lazy butt as an excuse to not move and stay where i am.

And and, i'm so freaking proud of myself!!
Bro's friend offered me A WHOLE PACK OF FRIES just now, but i said NO.
*proud sombong face you want to slap*
And OMG i almost gave in. The minute she stepped in the smell of the fries just attacked my nose i should sue bloody hell.

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, dang, i feel like stuffing my face with it now i think back of the smell.
Must. Resist. Temptation.
*bites HeeChul's tail*


But you know the funny thing throughout this whole "McDs-fasting" thing?

For starters, i would like to clarify the reason i am "fasting" myself from McDs is NOT because i want to lose weight and all those shit. I don't believe in cutting yourself off your favourite food just to lose weight, no.
The true reason is rather retarded so i shall just keep it to myself.

Ok, anyways, you know how McDs is one of the reason why people get obese and all?
Despite me lacking McDs, and for 8-month as a matter of fact... i'm actually steadily gaining weight FML.

But anyways, i'm trying my best to make it a "ONE-YEAR NO MCD IN MALAYSIA" feat! So wish me luck!

Am very thankful to Ah Poo. Even though she tempt me with McD breakfast/ lunch every now and then, she made sure i stick to what i said!
And like she said, after my one-year feat, i'm sure to stuff myself with McDs everyday liao what turf.

Oh well, let's see how then! Shall keep everyone updated =D!



ps: Please don't be so evil and pray i break my bloody fast lar bloody hell.

pps: Please don't be so evil and buy McDs and eat it in-front of me/ let me smell the smell, especially of the fries.
Because i swear the minute i see/ smell it, the McDs will be gone... along with you.
Kamsia very much.

Congratulations!

Tablo and Kang HyeJeong are married!

I like this two pics a lot, super lovely and sweet!!


Although i'm all up for innovative "non-traditional wedding studio picture shots" styles and all... but... this is ONE pic i will have to say NO to, since i'm a Chinese.

The veil took 3/4 of the photo!!! CANNOT EVEN SEE FACE!!! NOT WORTH IT!!!

Hehehe! =P
Ok, i make lame retarded jokes but i find it funny so it's ok =D!

Congrats to the happy couple (^^ )!! I think they are really cute together!
Congratulations again!!~

Why i haven't been Blogging much.

YOU tell me how to Blog.

My confession.

I want to talk about KangIn Kim YoungWoon the idiot.

Wow, it really amazes me how when i'm not in-front of the computer, i thought out everything i wanted to say, but now i'm actually typing, i have nothing to say.

And BTW, you don't want to read this. Super long, naggy and long-winded. It's worst than reading an essay because it's very very messy, mind. I'm just writing out my thoughts on what had happened the past few weeks.

Keep in mind, it's something i'm writing FOR MYSELF just so i have something i could reflect upon in the future. It is for myself, and only for myself, and nobody else.


Let's just start with this:
Everyone knows i'm a super big fan of Super Junior. No secret. You know you're reading an ELF's Blog the minute you enter my blog because of the banner.

Whose my favourite SuJu member?
You know... i really admire my friends who do have a favourite member.
Then if i do, i could just focus on that member, and that's it.

Because to be perfectly honest, i don't have one.

It's not because i want to say "i like them all"... it's really because i can't choose. Trust me, i've tried, and everytime i failed badly at them.
And having to choose sucks, because i like all of them for individual reasons. Yes, there are extra bias-ism for some, but in the end, i still can't say whose my favourite.
Ok, you can call me greedy, i seriously don't mind that.

And because i don't, every member's business suddenly becomes my business.

There's one thing i like about the familiar-ism of being an "older" ELF.
Because when certain things happen, i could go, "Aiyar whatever lar, he'll handle himself."
Maybe it's because i'm too lazy, or maybe because i was an ELF for so long, knowing the boys and trusting them, i know they would be able to handle through it.
...
But i think it's mostly laziness lar. Have another entry to write about this, just you wait!

Besides, they have a whole lot of "younglings" worrying for them, as an "elder", i have my right to rest what turf.
You may say maybe because i'm not so strong a fan anymore. I won't say you're wrong, but i won't say you're right either, because i know i still really really love them. It's something you will never know/ understand, unless you're me i guess.

And to be frankly honest, for a group "that young", they have been through a whole lot of ordeals - from anti-incidents, to boo-boos, scandals... even bloody serious accidents - nothing is possible new to them.

Except this, perhaps.

I am not saying what YoungWoon did was right.
I, for one, am strongly against DUI.
But i, for another, also know YoungWoon.
When i say "know", i don't mean i know him personally. But three years into liking someone, you would roughly know how that person is, especially when they are like KangIn. They have nothing to hide, they just show how they really are in front of the camera.

One of the reasons why i like Super Junior so much (^^ ).

So trust me when i say:
He's not a bad person (everyone can vouch for that). He's just really really really stupid.

YoungWoon, not KangIn, because he is a dumbass.

If i can use all the words describing how dumb he is, and the whole situation would be rectified, i would.


When i hear of other artists getting involved in DUI, i really have no feeling towards it. It's like hearing someone random to you did a boo-boo, that's it.

But when it happens to YOU, boy, that's another thing really.
It's not that simple, it really isn't.

And when it's two cases in a month, you just want to slap yourself.
...
Erm, ok... no... i have no reasons to slap myself. I just want to beat him up real bad.


When the first incident happened, when i first heard of it, i was surprised how easily i took it.
Because he said he didn't do it, and i believe him right away, no question.
Even when my friend was telling me about the case, i defended him right away. I said i know him. If he said he didn't do it, he didn't do it.

So i was... kinda wrong. But in my/ his defense, he did try not to. I just forgot that he is really dumb has a very nasty temper.


When i first heard of the result of the whole thing, i remember it was in the back of a van with Carolyn in Hong Kong. The first thing i do was cry, i don't know why. I just felt like it.
And after discussing the whole thing with her, i did feel sorta better!
It's like having someone there for you, who knows that someone else better than you, and letting her sort the "bigger picture" out for you.
...
Ok i'm bad at describing sorry, hope you got my what i'm trying to say blah.

Then again... i don't know why, but when i got home, the feeling of... i don't know... just came back. Till today i still didn't even know how to describe that feeling. It wasn't disappointed, it wasn't sad, it wasn't betrayal... i just... don't know. It's like there's just something there.

I self-emo for a whole week for who knows what reason!
Which then, i am extremely grateful to LooLooYee.
She asked me about him, and when i just suddenly bla-bla-bla everything out, i actually felt better, strangely enough. All it took was just one question.
And that was the end.

Or so i thought it would be.
Because that *genius* have to go be dumb again. (Is this an oxymoron then? Or just plain real sarcasm? Ironic-ism?)

That day, i remember i woke up feeling all happy and chirpy, then upon checking my Twitter, noting that something seemed wrong... i Google, and sure enough, the idiot did it again.

It was like being slapped with a frying pan ok. Right in the face.

So i told myself, today's a happy day, no point getting all emo about it.
I told myself i would not care, i know he's an idiot anyways, and so be it! Plus, there's nothing i can do, i'll just ignore it! Wise choice right?

It really was. Except that it's not that easy.

Over the next few weeks was probably one of the worsts in my life.
Yeah yeah, go ahead think whatever you want, i don't care.


Anyways...
It is very me to easily forget about emo PMS-sy stuffs which happened, but funny enough, i can still roughly remember how that week was, and how it felt like.

I don't know how to describe it, but let's just say it's a wreck of a week. I'm still kinda astounded that i made it through, because then, it really seemed like it's there to stay.

It was emo like nothing before. Kinda of like PMS in a way i guess - you know when you feel emo, you try to find out *why* you are emo, but you can't?
It's similar in a way but... oh gosh, i really really don't know.

I didn't work right.
If you ask me i'm well, i guess i would say i am.
I am eating, but i'm not eating. It's more like just shoving stuffs down my throat. I can't taste it.
I don't have any particular craving for anything, it's like i have no appetite whatsoever that is coming, i just eat for the sake of surviving, and that is saying something because i am someone who live to eat.
But hmm, surprisingly enough, i still eat a lot. Well, at least it's good to know if i ever break up or whatsoever in the future, i wouldn't starve myself to death what turf.


I wanted to blame it on PMS so much, you don't know how much i wanted to. At least there's something for me to put all my blame and worries and reasons to ok!!
But my period just finished. I tried to say it's "post-MS", but its just not convincing enough.

I don't know, i guess if i have "something" to blame it about, something natural and not human-caused in any way, i would feel better in some weird way?

Apart fromt that, i think... well, if i can find a reason to "blame", then i can find a way to rectify it you know. Then all would be well right? ... Too bad i can't find any.

It's possible that i do know the cause, the reason to blame, but i just don't want to acknowledge it, and unconsciously just trying to bury it somewhere in my head hoping i would forget it... too bad it's just fighting to get out.
Maybe it's possible that i'm just afraid to admit that Super Junior is so important to me.
Maybe i'm just afraid people would judge me for my fangirliness. (another post coming i see!)

Or you know, do you think it's possible i'm seeking attention?
Then again, i didn't tell anyone about this except my best friend, so what does this say?

Or maybe i'm just so worried about that idiot, but i told myself i would not, because it's "crazy" (as perceived through "normal people" omg am i really saying this?), so i try to forget it but i can't?

Ugh, i really really don't know. I don't even want to know. Please don't psycho-analyse me. I swear i'll sue you.


Blaming part aside, the emotion part isn't doing any better.
Forget blaming, at least if i know what i'm feeling, it would help to get through it better... i think. No, i would be able to get through it a WHOLE LOT EASIER!

But i can't. I've went through tons of feelings i might be feeling, but i just couldn't conclude. It's like it's all jumble out to a big pile of emoness. I honestly didn't know one could feel so much feeling at one go, and not die from it or something.
And i thought i'm "good" at multi-tasking. Apparently, i'm amazing.

And not knowing how or why i felt just makes everything even more emo. I'm just so confused.
Sad? Angry? Disappointed? Betrayed? Irritated? Depressed? Scared?
Ok, depress is too strong a word, maybe not depress.

Sad because well, sad lar, duh!
Angry because i want to kill that idiot.
Scared... well, i lived in fear that past few days. I checked for news everyday, but in my heart i really really don't want to. I'm afraid of more bad news, but i still have to satisfy my need to know.
Blah, it's just horrible.

I'm still living. Going to college, going shopping and everything. But it's like i'm still alive, but just not living you get what i mean?
Ok, contradicting stuff but whatever. I understand can liao what turf.
But something just doesn't feel right. It's like i'm happier to just moan, and sulk and let emoness consume me. I don't even feel like talking to most people. It's like, just let me curl up in an ice-cream factory and die.

Ok, that did not come out right, but you got my point.


I have a whole lot thing to say, but i think that's it. I can't think of any more liao what turf.

To conclude it, well, all those emoness seemed pretty horrible. It's like it would never go away. For the few times in my life, i actually woke up feeling crappy - which is saying something really - and from there, you know how "depressed" (ugh, strong word, but cannot find better word liao what turf) i actually got!!

But now looking back, i just realized what i needed. A trigger point. Because i was holding up and bottling up all my feelings, and that made everything worst.
Something happened, which made me cry big-time and went all emotional and all... but the next day, surprisingly enough i woke up feeling all better.
It's like the sun finally rise from a horizon so dark, you didn't think there would be light. (I think i got this from Twilight, but aiyar whatever lar!!)

It's a like a breath of fresh air. Or something which i've long forgotten. Not being-emo.

And have never been better since!


Up till today, i still remember how emo i felt then. It scares me to know how emo i can really get, but in another way, it also made me realized loads of other stuffs. Thankfully, mostly positive (^^ )!

I hope i'm not jinxing anything by saying this (because i think i'm jinx!!), but to be honest, i'm extremely thankful to some of the nicest peoples in my life. I honestly think without them, i would've probably just rotted and died!!
They don't know anything at all, and... well, i don't want to go on to elaborate lar, but let's just say, despite that entire crappy week, i truly felt happy and being myself with their company! Or hey, maybe it's because i'm just so happy to be in their company, i naturally get happier without even having to feign it =D! Who knows!

Not saying anything further, but am just really really grateful =)!


I don't think i'm so moppy and sulky from now onwards... well, i'll mop and sulk and emo and rant and be unreasonable and blah-blah-blah whenever i want to of course!! But anyways, i learned how to handle my emotions and feelings much better (not guaranteed. Everyone will always have a trigger point duh.), and... i just learned a lot of stuffs lar =)!


And to end this, the boys.
How much they really mattered.
I don't want to say much, but... let's just say i'll live my life the way i want it.

I don't want to be afraid that people will judge me for what i'm doing anymore. If i want to be mad crazy, i will be mad crazy.
They can judge all they want, i don't want to care anymore.
(Not because i'm "wow, so secure blah-blah-blah"... i'm just really lazy what turf.)

What mattered most is at this very moment, i was an ELF, and am still an ELF. And very proud to be one (^^ )!
(and because i'm a show-off, FIRST GENERATION ELF YO!!! HAHAHA!!! Ok please ignore that sorry for the outbursts what turf.)


And that dude.
I'm not ashamed of that idiot. Never have been, never am, never will.
Want to smack the crap out of him? YEAP!
But i still love him very much, along with all the other members, and will still always support him.
I am bias, deal with it. I know what he did is wrong, i acknowledged it's really very wrong... but so what? I'll still support him just because.
And if you don't like it, you can kiss that stray cat outside's pink butthole. Who cares what you think?

Let's just say... say that idiot were to be a good friend of mine, and even after what he did, chances are i would still stand by him (after beating the crap out of him - situation differs).
Because if i were to "disown" him or to be ashamed of him, i am not a "friend" to begin with.

And so be it!
I guess there's a reason why Super Junior's fan's are called ELF ne? (^^ )
Oh yeah!!



Gosh, the whole emoness thing is really really over yah?? I'm really still kinda surprised! Like i said, i thought it will never go away!!
Well, even if "another wave" were to come again, even if it were to caught me unexpectedly, i wouldn't want to embrace it... come on, it sounds really silly ok, what for you want to "embrace whatever may come"? Just turn around and RUN!!!

Ok, but well, it will not do to avoid it (learned that the hard way so many times, gosh, but i never learn ne?)... and hmm, i don't know what i'm going to do then! Maybe i'll emo a bit, sulk, rant, blah-blah-blah a while, but oh well, let's just see whatever may come!

Quoting Barney Stintson:
"When i'm sad, i stop being sad, and be awesome instead."

And that's what i am now (^^ )!

I will space out...

1) After eating a very very spicy meal.
2) Fishing the remaining pearls out of my Bubble Milk Tea.
3) After playing L4D using a sucky mouse.
4) Lack of sleep.
5) Shopping. (When i find loads of stuffs i like that is.)
6) Hungry.
(There should be more but only remember these now!)

Please bear in mind during said "space out periods", i will either:
- Have absolutely no idea you're talking to me.
- Do not know that you're talking to me until i wonder why are you looking at me.
- Might totally ignore you (varies, if you're unlucky only lar).
- Won't get what you're talking to me about.
- Cannot process properly what you've just said.
- It's possible i might decipher what you've said wrongly.
- Very very random.
- Will ask you who you are.
- Does not know who you are.

So please please please be extra considerate during my space out periods. Thank you!

Funny story.

Backdated entry 18th October 2009.
---

Went out for tea with Bibi, Amane and LooLooYee today.
Bibi brought her amazing D-SLR so she was taking pics of the cakes and all, when we were approached by this woman.

My first impression on her was, she seemed rather rude (well, not very rude lar, but i couldn't find another word for it) and in a very "accusing" tone, to the extent of being very patronizing.
She asked us why were we taking pictures of the cakes.
We were rather dumbfounded. I mean, years of taking pictures of my food and i have NEVER EVER been asked WHY are we taking pics of the food. I mean, come on lar... isn't it just weird?

I was like, "Er... for... fun?"
Can't remember what she said next, but i really didn't like her tone. I remember her saying that we have to ask her permission if we want to take pictures.
A bit stupid really, seeing we didn't take pics of the cakes on display, but rather, cakes we've bought and eating (or will be eating anyways). Plus, i've never heard of such stupid rule lor. (ok, maybe there is but i was never told lar really.)

She didn't accuse us straight on, but her tone surely is. It's as if she's accusing us for taking pics of her cake like we are competitors trying to steal her cake design and keep it as our own. And mind, she doesn't sound friendly. At least to me lar.
I really really didn't like her tone.
And that day i very emo liao, i don't need another idiot to come turf my life.

So then i said:
"But if we are Blogging the pictures, we are actually bringing customers to your shop aren't we?"
Wah, which then she immediately change her expression and tone (at least to me she did, very noticeable) and explained that there are people who steal her cake designs and everything so she have to be wary, so we were like, "Oh yeah yeah, we understand."

But seriously.
It's not like her cake design are OMG SO WONDERFUL I STEALLLLL~~~~~~~ ok. No seriously, it's not at all. My 3-year-old nephew can design better cakes than her cakes. It's so freaking simple!

And bloody hell. You "wary" also you don't go right on accusing your paying customers like that ok!
Seriously, i'm still kinda dumbfounded. Like... OMG!


But from what happened above, you can see how strong Blogging is nowadays.
Personally, small-business owners might not have the sufficient budget to go for big-ass advertistments like global corporations, so where else is best to rely on, and is (sorta) free?

Bloggers.
Or review-Blogs anyways.
I myself turn to the net for reviews on almost everything before i buy it/ visit the place, and truth be told i am 80% review-influenced, whether it's from friends or net whatsoever.

So yeah, next time you want to be rude to your customers, be careful if that person is a Blogger or not.
You'll never know.
*cue dramatic bam-bam-bammm~~*

Definitions in my life.

Because i'm stubborn like that.

I'm rather uptight on how certain words are used in life.
Off the top of my head: Blogger and Gamer.
I know i know... certain words are kinda subjective, each one to it's own.

But honestly, i find it annoying when some people use those words just because they jump the bandwagon, or they just wanted to sound cool.

Take example word mentioned: Blogger.
You see so many people referring to themselves as one, just because they have a Blog. They update once, then you never see them ever again. Like er... hello?

Then Gamer.
So you play WOW once.
No, that does not make you a gamer.

A gamer, is someone who plays RPG. Like real RPG not some Barbie mission conquest FTG. Take Final Fantasy, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy, Suikoden, Final Fantasy, Metal Gear Solid, Assassin's Creed, Final Fantasy etc etc, and the likes of Final Fantasy: those are true gamers. They live and breath proper RPG games.
Yes, i'm a sucker for Final Fantasy so sue me.

I don't know, i guess the definition's pretty wide. As long as you have dedication to the game, i guess you can be called a gamer.

I am NOT a gamer, contrary to some people's thoughts on me - particularly my ICPU lecturer lols - because well, i don't spend 24/7 on a new game.
I haven't even finish a game! Not even my favourite FFX (i blame my brother. He finishes everything and i watch so technically, i've finished the game too you know =P.).
The closest i come to finish a game would be FFIV. But you don't need to know what happen i feel like killing myself every time i think of it so close yet so far T-T...

But yes, i *am* a part-time gamer.
Why part-time?
Because for one: Once i start playing a game, it's 24/7 on that game. I can not eat, bath or sleep just so i can continue the game. If possible, i wouldn't mind not doing all those stuffs when i am in "game-mode" (just as long as i don't suffer the consequences of all).

I wouldn't want to sleep. The first thing i would do upon waking up is switching on the console. I would eat and play at the same time if possible (tried that). If my console is water-proof you know what i would do with it.
Yes, it is.
(Don't ask me why i haven't even finish a game if so, just don't.)

I don't live and breath games, but give me one game i love, and oh yeah!
But mind, part-time. Love them and all, lack dedication nya, but can be so so so hooked to it!


Oh yes, very anal on why some people would consider them those aforementioned, just because they did it once (of course, varies among stuffs). I mean, if you dive just once (and not planning to do it again) that doesn't make you a diver so to say. Is it because it's just cooler to say so?

I don't know, to me it just makes you sound pretty... i couldn't find any word which won't make it sound judgmental so i shall stop there.

I've been Blogging for 5 years, but i don't call myself a Blogger. I just lack the dedication.
Maybe someday when i constantly update and with pics what not, maybe then will i call myself a Blogger.

And till that day, no, i Blog, but not to the extend of considering myself a Blogger.


So yeah, definitions in my life are important. To an extend.
It's a just because thing i guess =)!



ps: Oh yeah, you can disregard all those you've read. Because for one, it's my own opinion. I can be a-nal when it comes to word-usage hehehe.
Plus i just like to rant just because =D! No reason really, just want to type it all out!
LOLS, talk about randomness and time-wasting XD!

ps: People who play online-games are NOT gamers strictly speaking. So do mini-games which includes puzzle games. No, playing Sims does NOT make you a gamer too. So do versus fight games. At least to me, eheh!~
Yes, i am a-nal like that.

Taugeh.

I seriously cannot tell you how much i hate taugeh. I seriously can't. Because i hate it to the core.
I seriously wonder how can people like taugeh lor! It tastes nasty! Like... BLEURGH!!

There are some food which i thought i hated it, then later i start liking it (those acquired taste food)... but taugeh... i just cannot imagine liking it lar seriously. It's just nasty!

You know how Char Koey Teow and Hokkien Mee (Prawn mee to you KL-people. Wait, aren't i one too FML identity crisis again.) have taugehs in them?
Last time i have this theory that if you don't have taugeh in it, those two won't taste good.

But now having discovered it tastes EVEN BETTER without the taugeh... oh gosh NEVER LOOKING BACK! DO YOU FREAKING KNOW HOW MUCH CHAR KOEY TEOW TASTE SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT TAUGEH??

Now my theory is taugeh actually ruin the taste of food you have them with. Seriously. I can now taste my CKT so much properly without the smell or slight taste of taugeh irritating me. I can savour every single bite now. So heavenly!


So yeah, i vow to have a new cuss word (because i stand strong to not curse, then again always slip i think it's taking it's toll on me not cursing but i always feel bad after cursing turf turf) which is Taugeh.
So taugeh it should be.
HAHA i'm weird OMG i'm awesome.

Yes, i hate taugeh to the core.
I swear if i were to rule the world, i would banish taugeh from existence. Trust me, i will.

And yes, that is how much i hate taugeh.
Sekian, terima kasih.

How I Met Your Twitter.

Eh, sorry for the lack of updates =P!
I remember the good ol' times i use to blog like... at least once every two days (or until i hit the "writer's-block" road and will stop for a week or so before continuing my usual Blog-a-rhea).

Then came my tweeting phase - which i'm still in now BTW follow me (haha shampoo commercial what turf) - and i find that my "Blog frequencies" have deteriorated by a whole LOT. But at least i try to put in something once a week.

Then now...
My last post was more than two weeks ago FML.

Don't blame me, blame Twitter ehehe =P!

To be fair, i did write a few entries... but those are just blabbers which i need to kemas-kini it but sadly... never found the time to do it hehehe...

Will really try to update my Blog much more frequently. I love my Blog heaps, and despite it being neglected for a newer model (what turf), it has been a 5-year relationship after all. Plus it has been here with me through thick-and-thin and writers block and Blog-a-rhea and all, so... yeah...

No promise, since i'm no Blogger to begin with (i have my own definition of what makes someone a Blogger), but really, will try best =D!


Anyways BTW, follow me at _eikochan but PLEASE BEWARE. I am a Twitter-addict and i always Tweet-diarrhea. I can go up to 10 Tweets in one go, and i think this is my 2nd-3rd month into Twitter but i already have more than 2000 Tweets liao what turf.

Average that and you see how much i Tweet a day! Hahaha!
Ta's!