RETARDED XD!~

Ok, so i was a little emo today and was going along the lines of "lack of sleep and overdose of fastfood" and doing stupid stuffs (in another language) and all...

CRAP TALK XD!~

Which, if you think about it, i'll NEVER do what i said!

BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO SEE and chut, hug, glomp, SUPER JUNIOR XD!~

Anyways, i really will not do what i've said except for the two earlier points; those two are quite hard to control when you're under truck loads of stress which seems like the army in A Battle of Wits attacking you!

But i wouldn't mind the attacks like from the movie A Battle of Wits, if Prince SiWon on his WHITE HORSE is going to march towards you to save you, pulls you up onto his horse and rides into the sunrise (doesn't really like sunset =P!) together wearing sunglasses!~

Oh yah, and minus the funny hair of his in the movie =P! Mwehehehehehe!~


But seriously, sorta, however, though, if you consider the other fact, that it would be FUN to be able to stalk Super Junior 24/ 7 (and scare the crap out of them) XD!~

YAH XD!~

And coincidentally, Wol posted this pic on her blog, which i saw today!

What would happen if SuJu were to see a ghost XD (but please, i would NEVER appear from outta the toilet bowl, its like, eiuuu~~, so disgusting (>< )!):
Honestly, if you consider ALL the facts, ITS NOT SO BAD STALKING SUJU THAT WAY XD!~

SiWon would pray for me!~

EunHyuk would invite me to his radioshow as a guest!~

DongHae would treat me as his long-lost-friend (from Mystery6)!~

SungMin would try to help me out of... no, NO toilet bowls!~
He'll try to help me out in any case i'm stuck anywhere (definately NOT toilet bowls)!~

KangKing would try to make a move on me (that big teddy bear (= =")...)!~

KyuHyun would walk away, because he didn't notice its me!~
But when he does notices that its me, he'll come back, catch me and puts me into his handphone so i could never runaway forever and he could see me all the time... just pray that RyeoWook won't shake the handphone when his bored... otherwise...

And considering the ONLY con of the whole matter, which is:
HeeChul would flush me down the toilet!~

But it would NEVER happen (because i would never come out from the toilet, i mean, WHO WOULD?)!~

So yeah, there's absolutely NO CONS AT ALL =D!~

OK, FULL STEAM AHEAD XD!~

Hehehehehehe =P! So bo-liao!~


Btw, ooh, i like this pic!~

RYEOWOOK POTTER XD!~

Along with Professor ShinDongy-dore!~
Hee-wig!~
Si-grid!~
Hyuk-oine!~
Ron-Sung!~
Professor Sung-nape!~
Professor Mc-Teuk-nagall!~

Hey, can i be kimchi Chang? Or Madam kimchi-xime (Si-grid's girlfriend XD!~)

YAH, HYPER AGAIN TODAY XD!~~



Quote for the day:

You know you're retarded when you have too much of Super Junior...
... and its never enough!~

pps: Dang... i just realise one thing...

I'm a butt-ist.

Like a FREAKING one!

Because...

Ii'm obsessed with WatermelonKang's butt (= =")...

... ok, maybe not "realize"...

Because i knew all along that i'm *coughobsessedcoughwithbuttscoughEsepciallyhiscoughcough*!

I'll pay particular most extra attention to ChunJi at the very end for his goodbye (which i LOVE ALOT, cause it had always sounded special to me somehow, though he say that at the end of the show everytime!)...

... and also him getting up from his chair...

... because he'll turn around, and the camera will end up recording his butt before he leaves the screen XD!~

See, told you i'm a freaking butt-ist (=v=")... hehehe!~


Yes, i like guys with a GOOD VOICE and GOOD BUTTS =P!

Mwehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!~

BLEURGH!

Freaking "not-smooth" these days (=o=*)...

- I thought my hair looked good today =D!
But looked like... URGH!

- Reached college and didn't thought of taking my umbrella along, despite it seem like it might rain. I thought it won't... mana tau after class it DID rain...
Had to run under the rain under my jacket because have to go change my license...

- Since this morning got taken advantage by idiotic "expensive-European-car" drivers (= =")...
Cut queues without signals are OK, BUT NOT WHEN THE FREAKING CAR IN THE NEXT LANE IS RIGHT BEHIND!
They think they OWN expensive cars, so "the road belongs to them"...
Idiotic Mercedes Benz drivers!
Yeah, i know i'm stereotyping... but can't help it, i have seen these type of IDIOTIC DRIVERS at least more than 8 times today!
And most of the time when idiotic driving happens, they are drivers of Mercedes Benz (The C-series or something one, not very sure)!

- Got a wake-up slap by lecturer, PRESSURE STRESS ALL ATTACK TOGETHER!
Imagine the army from the movie "Curse of the Golden Flower" all charge towards you (@@ )...

- Forgot to bring due-books to library this morning, end up have to go again at night...
But its good too, i get to focus on doing my stuffs properly and not get distracted by KyuHyun rolling around next to me... BUT STILL... grr!

- Since already back to college, i wanted to do my work till library closes... and i found a good book (newer version) to use, thought of borrowing it when library closes before i leave... mana tau library's borrow-counter closes at 8.45pm (= =")...
The worst part is everyone got shoo from the library around 8.50pm or so! And i actually wanted to borrow earlier, for fear the counter might close early, but doubted it will close early lar, so wait... padan muka...)

- I haven't buy my Statute books yet.
I forgot about it for like... 3 times or more adee (= =")... the bookstore closes earlier than i expect...

- My stupid LaoPoLooYee didn't reply me when i asked her if she love me today =(! And i was in a very down mood (>< )! DIVORCE XD!~
But haha, i love AhMaMa for saying she love me too XD!~ Best GrandMaMa a Boss could ever have XD!~


ARGH!

And not forgetting i haven't study yet, do my notes, nor FINISH MY ASSIGNMENT!

ARGH!

But one good thing is THANK GOD i asked CherylAhMa about the exam cases earlier today, and realized that you HAVE to remember all the freaking 2183718293719273219 cases...

Not good part is MORE PRESSURE (Imagine the 300 Sparta Army marching towards you... ugh, overload of half-naked-sweaty-dudes... YUCK!)!

But better than knowing before the exam, and freaking out with even MORE pressure (Imagine the army in Lord of the Rings marching towards you!)

BAH!

I'm going to kill myself tonight with lack of sleep (not sleeping!) and overdose of McDs (had two helpings of fast food today, A&W and McDs =D!), and also reckless driving (drove pass red lights 2 1/2 times today XP!)!

Oh, don't worry my fellow classmates, you can always help me to get back at those idiotic European-Car-Drivers with contributory negligence =D!~

Practice makes perfect!~ Love you dears!~

GAH!

"Your existence was always known even before what happened."

사랑해 우리바보 막내!~

쪽!~

---

오늘 정말 나뿐의 일에요!

근데 우리 엔젤 위해... 촣아 일이에요 (^^ )!~

何もしませんと思う。

규현のそばで 이고 싶어。

それだけ。


강인, 예성, 성민, 이특도...

그리고 려욱, 시원, 희철, 한경, 기범, 신돟, 동해, 은혁...


슈퍼주니어 보고 싶어!!


ストレスのために、　ばかのことに해요と思う。

でも슈퍼주니어のために。。。

だめよ。

안돼。

もうずっと会いたいと思います。

매일 보고 싶어。

진짜 보고 싶어요。


なみだは、　ながれることを止めない。

싫어요。

정말 싫어。


그러나 슈퍼주니어을 위해 파이팅!!

우리 슈퍼주니~~ 어~~~ 에요!!~~~~~

Its a battle i've WON!

YEAHS =D!

Hehehehehehehehe!~

I've successfully spread the message of Shark Conservation across the table, and perhaps in the process saved a couple hundred of Sharks who otherwise probably have to sacrifice their precious fins in the name of tradition!

YEAH ME =D!~

Ok, maybe not exactly spread the message of Shark Conservation. Everyone else just put a deaf ear to what i have to say about that usually.

But at least, i've got my voice out LOUD AND CLEAR on how i feel about this cruel trade to an even larger stage, or if i may say so, to an even larger audience, that while it may still be turned onto deaf ears, at least now all i can do is to just hope that everyone will follow suit and say NO to Shark's Fin Soup!


Please, its just so cruel ok! So what if it tastes good? Dog meat probably taste good as well, do you want to take Lassie and put him on the table?

Just so they may not look like cute fluffy animals, does that mean we can take ugly people and put them on the table to be eaten?

If you say they eat humans (which they DON'T btw, we don't taste good to them), why not we take those tribe people who had actually eaten real human meat, cook them and put them on the table for a feast?

HELLO! THEY ARE ANIMALS! THEY HAVE TO HUNT FOR A LIVING! DO YOU THINK THAT SHARKS ACTUALLY HAVE A SHOPPING MALL DEEP DOWN IN THE OCEAN FOR THEM TO SHOP FOR FOOD?

Anyways, we don't taste good for Sharks. They probably rather munch on seaweeds than us. At least seaweeds won't make them sick for days.


So please excuse me, i've actually always looked down on people who takes Shark's Fin Soup. I take things which i take seriously VERY SERIOUSLY.

I've made a new vow if my boyfriend ever does take Shark's Fin Soup, i'll never want to kiss him, or at least until i can get over the fact that he didn't take what is important to me seriously.

Which is technically like... non-existence. I get super-cranky if i'm not taken seriously.


BTW, Shark's Fin is NOT a traditional Chinese cuisine, unlike what everybody thought it was.

Kinda the same theory with that Cinderella ACTUALLY comes from China, unlike the West like what everybody thought it was from.


Back to Shark Conservation, in my lifetime of going for Chinese cuisines which serves Shark's Fin Soup (blek!), i've so far, only met ONE GUY who doesn't take the cruel bowl of soup, like me.

Imagine, out of probably 10 dinners i've attended, with at least 50 people or more every dinner, i've actually only met ONE who is as concern for Sharks as me.

Don't come to me about the "delicious" part man, it failed to trigger my taste-bud 5 years ago, and in fact, it'll just make me go even madder!

Trust me on that; when i first stopped 6-7 years ago, there are people (a lot, can't remember who dee =P!) who try to tempt me to take it again, and though at first it was difficult, but in the long run it made me feel so disgusted you can even put such thing into your mouth.


Its really not that hard to say NO to Shark's Fin Soup honestly.

And that's coming out from MY MOUTH. From someone who actually LIVE TO EAT!

If i, who can practically eat for 24/ 7, can say NO to Shark's Fin Soup, why can't you too?

And i've said NO for 6 years (or more) running adee. Why can't you too?

*coughLOSERcough*


Gosh, i sound like i'm promoting some "Stop Smoking" campaign now (= =")...

But whatever lar, STOP EATING SHARK'S FIN SOUP!!

GAH!


This is the only thing which i can never forgive anyone for doing so!

Even if its Super Junior!

And THATS saying something (>< )! ps: Hehehe, though i'm not at the age to be invited to weddings frequently yet, but i have this feeling i might start a vow to "boycott" weddings which served Shark's Fin Soup =D!

Hehe, it would probably also make me the "least" welcomed guest for Chinese cuisine adee! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Eh, btw, if i'm not there, don't expect my wedding angpow to be there as well =P!


pps: I just realise another.

If lets just take a scenario, that i'm about to get married and my in-laws insisted on having Shark's Fin Soup for the dinner.

The question at that moment would be:
To marry or NOT to marry.
I have this principle that if my in-laws cannot tolerate such simple request from me, how can i even live with them in the future?


So if in the future i ever organize dinners which serves Shark's Fin Soup, that person will DEFINATELY not be me XD!

I probably got kidnapped and some clone is impersonating me for the dinner! WARGH!

REMEMBER COME SAVE ME YAH =P!

Whatever happens...

We'll always love you, our Angel Teuk!~

Our beloved Leader, our beloved Angel, who always watches over our boys and also, us!

FIGHTING TEUKY!~

Remember no matter what, we'll always love you, cause you're always our darling Angel =)!


특이 특이~~ 이특이~~~!!

TAG!

PART 1: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Kajiwara Eiko
Date of birth: 20th June 1987
Current status: Single and married.
Eye colour: Lighter shade of Brown.
Hair colour: Black, but dyed brown.
Righty or lefty: Righty.
Zodiac sign: Gemini.

PART 2: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: Chinese.
Your fear: Loads!
Your weakness: Tempermental, short-tempered, mood-y-fied (acts very according to mood).
Your perfect pizza: Assuming the question is as it is, barbecue sauce XD!~

PART 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW
Your thoughts first waking up: "I want to sleep... Zzz zzz zzz...".
Tomorrow: Gotto go for final Tort tutorial tomorrow!
Your bedtime: Whenever KangIn or SiWon goes to bed *tags along*.
Your most missed memory: Being a kid!

PART 4: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: PEPSI! Definately!
Mc Donalds or Burger King: Both, but more towards McDs!
Single or group dates: I guess group first until you know each other better?
Adidas or Nike: Nike! NO COMPETITION! NIKE NIKE NIKE NIKE NIKE! Nike XD!~
Lipton Tea or Nestea: GOOD ice lemon-tea, not really choosy in similiar-taste-brand.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla ice-cream with chocolate syrup!
Cappuccino of Coffee: Me no likey coffee, chocolate please (Milo even better!)!

PART 5: DO YOU...
Smoke: Nope, and i doubt i will, allergic to smoke.
Curse: Unfortunately... as much as i wouldn't like to... yeap =P!

PART 6: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Yeap, last Friday! SOJU (tastes good till you swallow it)!
Gone to the mall: Of course!
Been on stage: Na-da!
Eaten sushi: YES XD!~
Dyed your hair: Duh!

PART 7: WHAT WERE YOU DOING
1 minute ago: Typing this.
1 hour ago: Sitting in front of the com.
4 1/2 hours ago: In class!
1 month ago: Laze around home like a BIG GIANT SLOTH, slumped on the living room couch!
1 year ago: ICPU XD!~

PART 8: FINISH THE SENTENCE
I love: everything i love!
I feel: going to Korea NOW and giving Baby a BIG HUG and BBO BBO!
I hate: whatever happened last Thurs early morning.
I hide: KyuHyun and RyeoWook in my pocket XD!~
I miss: Super Junior and my cat, 2.90 =(...
I need: to STUDY!!!!!

PART 9: TAG 2 PEOPLE
1. Anna JieJie's Los Angeles
2. Kaijie's Woofwoof-arfarf

Last Thurs and Fri...

... was horrifying.

I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't focus.

I wasn't sleepy. I wasn't even hungry.

I was behaving normal. I looked normal.

But inside nothing is normal.
Heck, my brain is never even close to normal all this while, what am i saying?


Didn't feel like sleeping or eating.

And being me, thats saying something.


Though i did fall asleep in the end, out of tiredness.

When you cry too much its just tiring.

All i know how to do was to cry. There practically wasn't anything much i could do other than that, honestly speaking.

Till tears couldn't fall anymore.


I was just so glad everything is getting better now =)!


Now back to study! GRRR!

The weekend of not doing anything is taking its toll on me (= =")...

GAH!

CHEERS!~

I had a "not-so-good-day" these two days.

However, considering the fact that KyuHyun is doing GREAT, EeTeuky is doing getting better and EunHyuky and ShinDongy has already left the hospital...

HAPPY XD!~

Even better, SuJu has been worried sick for Baby *hugs TeddyBearKang*, but still could not visit him because he was in the ICU (not allowed any visitors except me parents and Mr Lee SM, and only for 30 minutes twice a day!).

Though yesterday around 6.40pm, Baby was doing great, his condition was better and all, and so he was changed from ICU to normal room because he is recovering FAST =D!~

Then around 9pm (yesterday too), we SuJu members (Except Angel, GET WELL SOON *BIG bbo bbo to Leader*!) get to visit him with lots of kimchi love XD!~

Upon directly getting to see Hyunny's face, we SuJu members feel all better and reassured =D!~


But, hehehe, makes me wonder if he is even normal to recover that fast =P...

Its seriously FAST XD! His just doing so well X3!~

Don't get me wrong (Gotta love that phrase XD!~), i'm not saying anything, i want the best only for my Baby! But you can't help but to just wonder...

Oh yes, his retarded, and he is filled with kimchi love... so yes, his not normal =D!

YAH XD *dances Tic! Toc! around in joy*!~


There is just so much hip thrusting and butt-shaking in Tic! Toc!, its just so nice to watch XD!~

And of course, especially at Simba XD!~
But i had always love seeing him dance, he always manage to make it look so superly sexy (and i go "YAH XD!~")!

Even when its a cute dance XD!~
ps: (For cute, always look at SungMin dance! He even make the song U's famous hip-thrusting part look superly CUTE XD!~)!~

... hmm... i think i should share KyuHyun's other nickname with him (=v=")...

Apart from 막내현, can calling him Baby, i have this other nickname for Hyunny...

...

... which is HamsapHyun (=v=")...

Don't ask why, i have my own reasons XD!~

Anyways, i so should share that nickname with him XD!

HamsapHyun and Hamsapkimchi!

HamsapFamily *big grin* XD!!~

*sweat drops* XD!~

HAPPPPPPY XD!~

YAH XD!~

YEAHS!

우리 막내 궨찮앚어!

やったやったよかった！

같이~~~ 파이팅!!~~

YAH XD!!!

아 촣다 촣아~~ 수박이 박수!!~~~


우리 슈퍼주니~~ 어~~~ 에요!!~~~~~


전 E.L.F.입니다!~

아 촣다 촣아~~ 수박이 박수 XD!!~~~

만세!~

슈퍼~~~ 주니어!!!~~~

I am now an Official E.L.F. member.

Registration complete.
But tears fell down for the wrong reasons.


ps: Image has been modified for privacy reasons, obviously.

Gatal.

I want to be there.

I want to know how is everything now.

But i'm here.


Thank you BiBi and everyone else at the party who helped me get my mind off things just now.

Thank you Auntie for calling me and updating me on the latest SuJu info.


I realize i could no longer cry anymore.

Maybe i'm just stifling it. But whatever.

I was listening to Han Saramaneul after opening a Clubbox page, and gatal gatal go click on a news article link, despite being forewarned of a photo which comes together with the article.

I'm sorry Auntie, kimchi's been a bad cabbage (not of the rotten busuk type, but close).


It was KyuHyun's part when i saw the pic.

He was singing one of the part which i love most from the song (well, all parts are my favourite honestly).

Listening to the voice that i had gotten so used to since last year.

Remembering how cute he was when i met him.

How i would sometimes forget about him, but i would never miss him out, because he is our super magnae.

The retarded, silly, hamsap, but at the same time, lovable as always. Eversince the first time i saw him, whether through megapixels or when our eyes met.


It almost came out but i tried to stop it.

Which then it stopped completely, merely wetting my eyes because some came too fast before i was able to ask it to go back politely.

This has been happening for quite some time.

I realize except for the heart-wrecking feeling i'm feeling, i wouldn't cry anymore.

Nor would i be able to cry for the matter anymore.

Is it because i told myself not to cry anymore?

Or is it because the feeling has sank so deep tears can no longer explain how i'm feeling at the moment?

Maybe i'm just acting strong.

Heck, maybe i AM trying to be strong and stay strong for them!


Leader is fine. Ramyun is fine. Monkey is fine. Baby is fine.

But till i see them smile and starts acting retardedly my heart will never rest.

FIGHTING!

Watermelon. BuKyeongBab. TauFooFah. Simba. Strawberry. Chicken Rice. Prince(ss). DanHoBak. Fishy.

AJA FIGHTING!

우리 슈퍼주니~~ 어~~~ 에요!!!~~~~~



ps: As mentioned above the "tears-almost-fall-out-but-went-back-in" and all those?

LUCKILY when it happens no one is around.

Because i know how i looked like when i do that.

I can imagine my expression.

My face will all screw up as if i just smelled Leader's pyjamas (who he never washes, i think, but he only wears them to sleep so cincai lar!)!

It looks really funny, thinking about it makes me feel like hiding my head inside a plastic bag (like what my HeeChul always likes do when he sees a plastic bag) to save myself embarrassment should anyone had seen it!

Which... luckily no one did...

If anyone did, it'll be when i'm driving, and the driver of the car next to mine saw what i did for that split-second.

But what is he doing looking at me when he should be looking at the road?

Bleurgh!

It's going to be OK!

I can't believe it!

I didn't feel like eating!

The last time i felt so was... NONE!

I've never felt so before!

Even when i don't feel like eating anything thats available, i'll just find something to munch on, its "unhealthy" to not eat at all, as in skipping meals.

I live to eat!

I love to eat so much, and with proof, that its weird feeling so.

I didn't even get hungry!

Usually upon waking up, i'll feel hungry and all after a couple of hour...

Not today! Nada! Zip!


Though so, just now i went strolling around OU like a mad woman, and before coming back, i drank a cup of lemonade and brought myself a piece of my favourite Italiannies' Strawberry CheeseCake... even though i don't feel like eating... just want to force something into my stomach...

Which, later the cheesecake made me feel so stuffed i'll have to save it save it for later (=v=")!


Honestly, its surprising i don't feel like eating at all, nor do i even feel hungry, but i guess i'm eating out of habit?

Yeah, i mean, i've got to eat one way or another. I don't believe in skipping meals for whatever reason, even when losing weight or whatever. Its just WRONG!

So yeah, i've eaten something, and its yummy btw XD!~


There's alot on my mind currently.

Things which i told myself not to think so much, but i end up thinking even more on it.

Thank God later i'll be going to see ProfessorBlurBiBi and FireworksKacy, MCCQingQing, where at least there'll be company, and at least i can put at my mind to rest for awhile.

I've been thinking too much with nothing to take me off my mind its boggling (@@)...

Don't get me wrong (You just have to love that word XD!)! The little rascal HeeChul has been providing me GREAT COMPANY as well!

She's just so understanding!
And thats coming alot from a cat who loves to bite when she feels like it, and doesn't like people carrying her or hugging her unless she demands it!

Just yesterday, she let me hug her as i weep upon the news setting in.

Though she would prefer if we give her the space she needs, whatever reason, but its still good =)!

BIG CAN OF TUNA for the little rascal XD!~


Get well soon my little one!

FIGHTING!

今キモチまだ촣아、でもあなたのために파이팅！　がんばります！

팔리 같이 기뿐이 촣아になるね \(゜∀゜) /！♪~

L.O.V.E.

Believe in Miracle.

Smile. And this will be Over.

So I...

U...

You Are The One.

Our Endless Moment. Forever.

Why must this happen?

Again.

As if last year wasn't enough.

It had to happen this year again.


I shouldn't be like that!

I must be grateful, and thank God that it isn't any worst!

AJA FIGHTING!


Watermelon, TauFooFah and the rest.

They are there, but there is nothing they can do.

I am here, but there is nothing i can do as well.

Except to pray and hope for the best!


I'm taking a break tomorrow.



Go to sleep. go to sleep. go to sleep.

Someone stop pouring ice-water over my head.

I've been selfish.

Is it only human to worry about matters which are most serious at hand?

Focusing only on the youngest one, i've neglected my angel, my monkey and my instant-noodle.

I feel terrible.

They might be feeling better, but it is no reason for me to be so right?


There's also the others.

Watermelon. Baby. Danhobak.

If i can feel so, they must be feeling worst.


Apart from that, there was this other horrible feeling which had appeared.

How can this even pop-up in my head?

I am a horrible and selfish person.

I want to be there.

I want to be there supporting everyone. Doing something.

Stuck here.

I feel helpless.

But even if i'm there, what can i do?

Is there even something i can do?

I'm staying strong, but how long can i hold?

Dream on. I can go to sleep and dream. Put my mind to rest at the matter.

But if i can sleep in the first place that is.

Its as if someone just pour a bucket of ice water over my head, keeping me wide awake at this hour.

Even better, i've started crying again.

Nothing serious, so don't worry lar honestly =)!

At least i'm regaining some feelings.

At least there is something i'm doing.

Something i can do.


I better make myself pack for tomorrow before i go bonkers.

Which i am now.


Please get better soon.

I don't know how much longer i can hold.

The worst you can feel isn't crying.

Its when you want to cry, but you can't.

You want to do something.

But there is nothing you can do.

The tears aren't strolling down your cheeks.

But they are heavily pouring in your heart.

When it hurts so much it doesn't hurt anymore.

When tears had flow out too much they stop flowing.

Something isn't right, but not being there feels even worst.

I feel bad. In the end... now... i felt as if nothing has happened.

But something had.

And i don't like it. I really hate it.

So this feeling...

Am i just acting strong? Acting positive?

Or is it because i'm just trying to "bluff" myself?

Pretending that nothing had happened?


I've stop crying now. Because i couldn't cry anymore.

Its so easy to annoy me.

From a normal day, to an annoyed day.

I know i'm going to get better when i get home later, but whatever...

... Like... freaking pist now (= =")...

ARGH!

Its so easy to annoy me ne?

Maybe PMS, short-tempered, or blame the weather?

I HATE PEOPLE TALKING (bad) ABOUT SUPER JUNIOR!

Whatever its about!

Sometimes i can get touchy even with COMPLIMENTS from non-fans (=v=")...

And i mean... compliments ARE supposed to be good ne?
But bleurgh! I don't know why... don't ask me, I am my mood is always weird...

If you have nothing better to say, don't say anything at all.

Talk about respect and care of other's feelings.


I don't like people dissing Super Junior.

Or anyone i care and love for that matter.

If its from another fan i wouldn't mind honestly, because hey, WE know Super Junior well (Though "beginner-fans" be careful of your words with me around. I might bite your head off =P!)!

We give constructive criticism in hopes that it'll help Super Junior improve (and then we'll rejoice and cheer and celebrate XD!~)!

But words from non-fans, antis, normal citizens walking down the streets...

Any words, even one without any harm in it, might be presented to me as if it were a knife, to be challenged to a battle.


Very very the annoyed, boh-song, kibbuni an choa, kimochi warui, bu shuang...

GRR!


ps: Why does the school computers don't allow writings in Chinese, Japanese or Korean (= =")...?

But the internet is so good...

Its a love-hate relationship.

아 촣다 촣아 수박이 박수!

I LOVE MY WATERMELON AND MY SIMBA XD!~

NYAH XD!~

☆★☆ \(≧∀≦)/ \(゜ω゜)/ \(￣∀￣)/ ☆★☆

Antis.

---
Edit:
HeeNim caught me (= =")...

Posted in his cafe diary... it goes along the lines of not to worry about the diary left in his minihompy, and do not worry about him, but worry about EXAMS...

...
Nobody can escapes HeeNim nya?

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----

I've told myself over-and-over again.

Not to be affected by antis' words.

They are just a bunch of too-bored people without a life, thus, jealous of others who DO have a life, they unleash weapons of words onto them, in hopes that they'll feel better for their miserable lives.

Though the fact remains i'm over-protective over things i love.

My family, friends, animals and my idols.

I can never stand any bad word against them.

I never like people talking bad about them.

No. Matter. WHAT.


In this case now, i'm talking about the anti-attacks on Super Junior.

Nevermind that the attacks onto them. They are entertainers.

And especially being a Hallyu-entertainer, and hailing from The Land of Antis (where people there can feel so bored, they can just suddenly form a group randomly and start hating famous entertainers for no apparent reason), they SHOULD be prepared to face the antis.

Do you know that Korean entertainers don't need paparazzi?
Because they are so often stalked by fans and antis that, why the need for paparazzi?


At least SuJu are still able to keep their privacy.

In TVfXQ!'s case, they had reached the height that they are no longer human anymore.
They can no longer go out without ending up being kidnapped and killed by a crowd of crazy fans and antis.

Any GIRL associated with them would probably be in danger of breathing.

Nevermind that, they can just stay at home?

But how to feel peaceful at home when there are chances fans come trashing into your house (illegally of course), and to an extend, move to the unit opposite yours so they can stalk your every single movement?

Constantly watched, constantly stalked.

Fans, there's nothing much we can say because fans will be fans. We can never understand them as they differs.

As if not enough, they are constantly watched even by antis, because those antis want to see them fall.

They (the entertainers) have to be perfect all the time so they wouldn't need to give antis any reasons to launch their attacks.

But what did they do to deserve unreasonable criticisms and attacks from antis?

I don't mind constructive criticism on Super Junior, because i understand those words are said so they could improve and be even better.

Though i will get cranky when the constructive criticism comes from non-fans, that i usually only accept criticism from fans because i know that WE ALL KNOW and had saw how hard they had worked but whatever, this is not my main point for this entry.

Its about those freaking antis.

As bad antis may be, sometimes they end up improving Super Junior with their attacks.

For those sort of antis, i'm grateful.


But where there is good, there will always be bad.

The worst sort of antis.

What had they (the entertainers) do to deserve to be attacked and harassed constantly by those fools who had nothing better to do?

What had they done onto them?

I understand sometimes when you look into the face of some entertainers, you'll feel "Ah, i don't like this person.", or "That entertainer has a very bad attitude, so i don't like them.".

I'm only human. I have those feelings too.

But to an extend of wanting them to die?

Its not like they had taken a knife and blackmailed your whole family? Or kill your cat or don't want to help your grandmother cross the street or something.

What had they do?

They only perform for the sake of us fans who are WILLING to throw give our moneys to them.

They are also working to support their lives and their family.

They are also HUMANS.

Imagine if you are in their place, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

Its not like you're performing to destroy the lives of others right?

Even if some fans are a bit the over, its their choice. The entertainers didn't hold a knife to their face and threaten to scar them unless they go crazy over them right?


The curses had even gone to the extend of abusive and obscene words to the entertainer's family, who is not even in any way, related to the entertainment world.

So what had THEY done to deserve the abuse?

Because their family members is an entertainer? An artist. So thats why they deserve it?

Or is it because they didn't help your grandfather cross the street this time?

As an entertainer, you have to be prepared for this sort of criticism, and accept the fact that not necessary everyone had to like you.

Even as a normal living person, a private citizen, you have to be prepared not everyone will like you.

But criticisms, insults, anything onto a person as an individual is ok.

But why drag until their family?

Do i need to find out who my great-great-great grandfather is so you could scold him for giving birth to me?

Or so you could "revenge" upon me by not helping him cross the road?


What is the freaking problem with those antis?

Ah, this, is certainly one of the mysteries in the world.


I don't know what i'm talking about now actually.

What turns out in the beginning as reasoning and all, will usually turn into blabberings in the end, because i always end up strolling far away from what i initially wanted to say, and there are alot of things to say.

Please excuse me.

I'm not feeling well, my brain is not working, i've not done any academic work today because i don't feel good, the antis are making this worst, and i'm freakingly-sorta-dead-worried for EunHyuk and HeeNim now.

I shall retire to sleep now.

Everything is killing me now, even eating is killing me.

Except Super Junior.


If i hear any bad words against my idols these few days (especially the ones with the initial S.J.), i might just CRACK.

Don't say you are not warned.

I hereby apologize first if in any case i do, you know, crack.


---
Just a note why the sudden outburst:

HeeNim was involved in an accident last year.

A pretty bad one, but thank God, he is ok now.

As much as i didn't say anything about that matter at that time, that time was really tough for me because i was really worried for him.

But how can someone, anyone for that matter, come and say:
'He should have died during his previous accident, it's a shame he didn't'

Its a shame that people like YOU are alive.
---

These few days must be emo-days for people born around the middle-of-the-year.

Everytime EeTeuk emos, i'll usually also emo because of something or another.

STOP EMO-ING LEADER TEUK!

You're not making things better (= =")... you're infecting your emo-ness to other poor members as well!

ARGH!

My cat is a freaking animal-activist.

I'm sure people who know me knows how much i love animals and all, and how i opposed to Shark's fin especially, animal cruelty, wildlife-products, or eating anything else other than chicken, beef, pork and mutton, and all...

So i'm down right against eating venison (deer meat) as well, obviously...

Its like eating BAMBI. Honestly honestly.

And freaking honestly, i don't really even care if it TASTES GOOD! No way i'm putting that anywhere near my mouth... heck, ME too if its possible!

Its against my principal and what i believe in... and if i may say so, sad to say i freakingishly look-down on anyone who "enjoys" any "wildlife-product" (and especially Shark's fin! I HATE people who enjoys and loves Shark's fin! I feel like giving them a tight slap and shoving their head down into the nearest toilet bowl! But pity the toilet bowl... it probably never had anything as foul as that person's head down it before =(...).

That is why i usually have a black face whenever i go for Chinese cuisines, Shark's fin soup is ordered, and the whole table is eating it.

Though, keep in mind there is a difference between "eating what is ordered", and "enjoying and loving it".
The latter means you'll actually order it you heartless creep!


I just feel that its animal cruelty!

ESPECIALLY SHARK'S FIN!

Not that i think cows and pigs are not animal cruelty, i'm not dumb you know. I KNOW how they are treated.

But sadly... its really too good to give up... and i need proteins (though i take too much)... but i'm grateful to all the lives i've eaten.

But any animal away from those is WAY crossing my line.


Though saying ALL THAT (God, i get side-tracked too easily (= =")...)... i caught myself buying a can of VENISON MEAT cat food for my HeeChul *slaps head*.

When holding the can, i know i went "WOW! You can find all sorts of stuffs for pets these days!", and just bought it, thinking of letting HeeChul try some new flavours, without thinking of anything else.

My brain must be malfunctioning at that moment. Hmm.

I DID noticed something was wrong. I just didn't realise WHAT.

It was only after i reached home, i came to my senses and FREAK, that i just bought a bloody can of venison meat cat-food for my HeeChul!

I opposed to it... yet i bought it for my cat.

FAIL *smacks head*!

Vowing it was the FIRST and LAST time, i gave it to HeeChul anyway. No point letting it go to waste, its not exactly "cheap" as compared to her usual canned-food.

Though... guess what...

My cat is a freaking animal-activist herself!

She touched it a little, and came complaining to me that she didn't like it (she was also hungry and she didn't had her breakfast)!

I mixed it with the tuna-flavour cat-food she loves (kiamsiap owner don't like the food to go to waste), but still she touches it little-by-little, and i think she took her half day to finish the whole plate...

There's still half-can left, but i don't think i'll be giving it to her anymore.
Because if HeeChul being forced to finish the remainings is the same as me being forced venison, which i'm sure to hate and will complain non-stop, thus i don't think she should "go through it as well".

But honestly...

WHAT AM I THINKING BUYING THAT!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!


My brain needs repairing = more SuJu XD!~


ps: Someone give me a pair of scissors to cut RyeoWook's hair!!!

He looks like a cute, innocent little girl now... that he would've looked like my little sister...

... and i would look like his OPPA (>< )!

Hair-problem.

The guy who cut my hair made a HUGE MISTAKE cutting my fringe.

I for one, just realised, somehow... seeing-that-i-stare-in-the-mirror all the time most of the time, that i looked incredibly weird with short fringe...

Or perhaps, more towards fringe which had a slide-down pattern to it... seeing that i never comb my hair (because it make me look geekish, and mushroomy, so maybe thats why my brain never work well whenever i hoped it would, because there is less brain-circulation-activity behind the non-combing-reasoning...)...

Nor i ever style it, because i dislike having stuffs on my hair, unless if i feel i'll wash my hair at night (which i thought i won't, but i'll always end up washing it at night usually)...

So the fringe (bam bam bamm!) will end up short and long without proper tidying-up.


So why do i always have horrible fringe?

Because i cut my hair too often that before it had the time to grow long enough, the idiot-of-the-hairdresser, if you'll pardon the pun, will cut it short, give the "sliding-down-fringe" a good tidy-up, and the weird-look will come again.

Also i always prefer short-fringe to avoid it poking my eye, but after cutting it only i realise it would've been better NOT to do anything with it (= =")...


This reminds me of when i had this horrible fringe i cut myself in high school, thinking it was really nice but deep down i KNOW it looked extremely horrible, but just live with it till i can get my next cut lar...

But the worst part is... that i had to take my form5 class photo with THAT HAIR... talk about HUMILIATION...

And it was really sweet of my friends not to say anything to me... but i feel...
If its REALLY HORRIBLE you guys have to say something!!!

But maybe in a nice manner... because its bad enough having a horrible hair, don't need to RUB IT IN in a mean way o(>< )O!

ARGH!!!


Another thing, for my current hair... because my hair has always been layered, thus the long part will be thinner.

And somehow it has a weird tendency to all "join forces together", and hide behind my gettingly-thicker-neck, that now if you didn't see my "back-hair", i'll look like someone who is wearing a huge half-coconut which came all the way from Hawaii as a HAT.

But ok lar, to make myself feel better, honestly if applied something on it, and style abit and all... at least i can pass for the sporty+funky or retro maybe =D!

If only i've any "retro-daily-outfits" (which no, i'm a strictly-sports-sporty-casual-except-when-i-feel-like-it-fashion kinda person)...

Hmm... i'll probably look better than like CherylAhMa in the 60s or 70s when she ruled the Disco and NightClub Scene with her fashionable outfit and stylish hair!

WOW =D!~


Ok lar... i'm grateful because i love my hair regardless, and i have some "side-bangs", which, at least, hopefully, it'll make me look MUCH BETTER than any crazy dude crazy enough to wear a half-coconut which came all the way from Hawaii as a headgear =D!

Mweheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Family Tree!

Sorry a little late, but here's the FAMILY TREE i've been talking about =P!
Click to enlarge =D!

Hehe, not very good but will try my best to improve =D!

And... gosh... i looked like a dude (= =")... why did i ever choose that pic in the first place...

☆★ NYAH \(゜∀゜ )/★☆!

OH FREAK!

I HAD ONE OF THE BEST DREAMS EVER (^o^ )!~ ㅋ ㅋ!

BIG CHUT TO MY RYEOWOOKY!~

YAH XD!~

*dances around in happiness*

Mweheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee \(゜∀≦)V ♪!~

잇힝~♡!

Of dogs and cats!

I gatal gatal go to DOGSTER.com after hearing about it from the radio (Its similar to Friendster, just that, guess, duh, its about DOGS only!) .

From seeing all the pics of the beautiful dogs, and their happy lives with their owners...

...

JEALOUS!!!

LIKE MAD!!!

I want a dog too (ㅠ.ㅠ )...

Especially seeing the beautiful pics of Goldies, Malamutes, Germans...

ARGH!!!

I also want a dog...


HOWEVER!


Whats "not-very-good" is that i'm especially sensitive towards dogs, and especially especially breeds i love.

I'm at this website, AMRONE.org, a New England rescue group dedicated to finding new homes for homeless Malamutes.

Then i gatal gatal (again... typical of me (=v=" )...) go click on the "memorial" page, which serves as, of course, memories to dogs who had crossed the rainbow bridge.

I don't know those dogs, better yet, i've never even met those dogs, nor read anything or see more pic about the dog.

Yes... i cried.

Shed alot of a tear is more accurate, since upon realising i'll bawl if i continue reading, i quickly close the page!

And the page is just a list, with a thumbnail of the Malamute, along with the date he/she crossed the rainbow bridge, and owner/ fostered by who.


Yes, i'm overly sensitive towards animals, especially man's best friend DOGS!

I just felt sad because somehow, though i've never owned a dog, i can "feel" the owner's emotion when they lost their precious companion.

Its just so heart-wrecking, that even though i've NEVER had a dog before...

I shudder to think what would happen to me if i had one... and lose him or her.


ARGH!!!

I wish I'm at the BEACH.

Seeing that i freakingishly is madly-in-love with the beach, the sea, the ocean and all...

So there's NOWHERE i'd rather be than... guess...

THE BEACH!

Quoting from what my CousinAnna, who is an Independant Consultant for skin care line Arbonne International, said, that she love being on an island because she was born in Penang, and love listening to the sound of waves splashing on to the beach.

DITTO!

Considering the fact that I was born at a hospital, which is like, a 5 minute (or less) from the ocean, and being a true Penang-nite who had the first three-years of her life lived surrounded by the sea, yeah, no doubts where i'd wish i'd rather be now!

SamSoonHenney and CousinKat had actually commented "BEACH AGAIN!" on me, when we were randomly chatting about something the other day!

I guess thats just me =P!
Being born in the first month of Summer, a real "Summer-girl" who loves the beach, the sea, the ocean and everything in it (Yes, i even have a fetish for SHARKS!~)...

There's no place i'd rather be than the BEACH!

NYAN XD!~


I'm not really fussy, as long as its a good beach, i'm a happy girl adee =D!~
Penang, Redang, Perhentian, Tioman, Langkawi, Sabah, Sarawak, Phuket, Pattaya, Maldives...

YAH XD!~


Remember this post last year when i went to stay at a hotel by the beach in Penang?

So HAPPY XD!

I had actually ALSO considered studying in Penang, so i can go to the beach everyday (=v=")... hehehe...

ITS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!


I had always wanted to go back (to that beach) there everytime we return to Penang, but too bad, we're either usually "rushing" or the car's too big for me to drive (being not exactly familiar with the roads there, and driving a huge-ass car may not be such a good-idea honestly!), so i've never went back there since last year!

Hope to go back there soon! Its really so beautiful and i really love it o(^^ )o!~


Some pics from the trip (taken from the original post):

The sound of the waves singing you to sleep every night... ah, PARADISE (^^ )!~


Even a sea with its strong waves never scare me, i still find it BEAUTIFUL and CAPTIVATING (just don't ask me to swim in it)!









ITS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL, isn't it (^^ )!~



*******************************Start Copy******************************
Proposition : Where do you want to go Next, OUTSIDE OF YOUR COUNTRY, for tourism, work , study, whatever.

Requirements: Find some info about the place, itenary etc, pics if possible so you get MORE Traffic coming in, and maybe some people can find somewhere to go to. Excludes your NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR, ie Singapore, Malaysia, Brunei, a country that borders yours.You must register for MyBloglog so we can blogwalk ah…..get it?

Quantity : FIVE PEOPLE.

Tag Mode : Chain Link. 15 of them.You leave 15 people and their DEEP LINK of their Blog Name and TAGGED POST and hit out for five more. So it will look like

Azrin going Down Under
MaRLinda in Disneyland Paris
Athira Baby and her Balamory Antics
MSAU shopping in Japan
Shannon revisits Australia
Immomsdaughter visit World Heritage New Zealand
MontessoriMum going to Austria
Judy Chow visit Europe
wHOisBaBy and her "I wish I am at BALI"
eiko-chan LOVES the BEACH

**Add in the blog you get the tags from and tagged post.**

************************************************************************************
Extra Rules: you cannot Tag another person who has performed the Tagging Rights to Travel. Check yr commentators.You MUST PASS this tag within 7 days of receiving it , or loose a days worth of Blog Revenue or $10 to charity. Can?Makes it interesting anyway.So no Lazy Tags running about, and yeah, eventually, there will be less than a 1:3 chance you can’t tag that someone. And pay those people in the list a visit, you never know if you can pinch / recycle some ideas for your next entry!

Nyat, honestly, i don't know anyone else to tag (^^; )...

So yeah, if you guys are FREE and FEELS LIKE DOING THE TAG, only do it ok?
BiBi and Amane!

Cheers XD!~

Dream?

Say you think you can't sleep, so you roll around in bed, and think NORTH SOUTH EAST WEST... you think you're still awake, but you're actually asleep because when someone enters the room, they actually "woke" you up for a brief-minute before you fall back asleep.

So ok, the question.
Does anything which you thought of, and believed to be true, constitutes as a DREAM, HALLUCINATION, IMAGINATION, FANTASY or DAY(night)DREAMING?

That saying, because if its a dream, NOBODY can be angry at me adee right?

So yes, its a dream, nobody can get angry at me (because i can't, literally saying, control what i dream right?), and yes, i'm going to blab about it =D!


All the time Sometimes i scare myself.

This is superly "weird and far-fetched".

I "dreamt" that me. I'm married to WuChun *hides from Auntie*, and i have a DAUGHTER!

That still "ok"... perhaps too many novels for one night, but anyways...


This one... ok, everyone is SO going to be FREAKING MAD at me (which you can't btw!)...

I dream i'm married to Calvin Chen of Fahrenheit (WHAT THE!), my SON is Arron Yan (*cries)!
I'm having an "innocent-affair" (just plain feelings for each other, nothing physical, seeing the fact i don't love my husband and all, and the reason i married him is because... can't remember? I was forced?) with Daniel Henney, a model, whose model girlfriend is my cousin, Kat.

WuChun is my ex-husband, who we broke up because of some silly reasons. Or was it a third party? Anyways, then SamSoon became WuChun's fiance.

Jiro Wang is my ex-boyfriend who still keep in touch because he is still madly in love obssessed with me (remembers retarded looks from HanaKimi) but at the same time, he has a girlfriend (who i can't seem to know who. I think its Ayumi Hamasaki, but it could be Nakashima Mika or Koda Kumi, i just know she's one of the famous J-pop queens!).


Then, my next door neighbour is the "arranged-marriage couple" Tracy and Melvyn, who, on the surface looks real happily ever after, but the truth is that they hate each other to the guts and plans to kill each other all the time. But they never succeed though.
Cheryl is Melvyn's mom, and is really mean and abusive to her daughter-in-law (Tracy) because she is "jealous of her youth", and she is indeed, actually, an evil-witch who plans to use powers to steal Tracy's youth and turn Tracy into an old woman, while she herself will transform into a beautiful young woman to try steal Calvin's (my "husband" in the dream...) heart.


Then there is the neighbour on my other side, Samantha, who looks really innocent but is in fact, the owner of a "host-shop" with housemate Jamie. Samantha handles the account, all money-related matter, while Jamie handles PR around the shop and erm... the "hosts".

What is a "host-shop"?
In Japan, a host is a term for people who erm... does escorts (and maybe more) to paying customers lar. Hope i got the term right?

But in this case, their shop is just plain PR lar, and er, Melvyn has a very secured job with the shop, alongside his "best partner" YenNe.
SuWern also works inside the shop as someone who supervises all the hosts, and she secretly has an affair with KengSoon, who is the "top host", and is Jamie's favourite, so thats why their "affair" can never be known to anyone, especially Jamie, otherwise SuWern might not appear for work the next day.
Jamie in my dream, is somehow, really the "dai kar jie", emotionless type. Scary.


Then, finally a family who isn't that weird, and has nothing to do with anyone else except the fact that we are all neighbours, are the happy couple Mak and Jacyn who lives opposite me, and their son is erm... Gentry and daughter, Amane.


My mind must be faulty that night. Hmm.