Friday, September 25, 2009

Lost feeling.

You know how sometimes in the turns of event you just don't know how to feel?
Confuse? Disappointed? Frustrated? Angry? Sad? Blah blah and blah?
I guess it's not necessary for me to clearly define how i feel, but if i don't, it makes me confused.
But if i try to (define it), i also feel confused.
So does this mean i'm just confused now?
But i don't want to be confuse! I get confuse when i'm confused what turf.

I really want someone to talk to or to find someone who will show some concern on me over the matter. But who?
(i'm not looking for anyone lar, it's just a figure of speech what turf.)
I doubt anyone would understand.

For starters, let's just say there would be two groups.
One group would think it's a totally unimportant matter, and would whole heartedly advice (with sniggers behind) that i should worry about "more important matters".

What turf. Curse you lor.
Honestly, one, it would not help. At all. That's why sometimes there's no point talking to others about certain matters when you already know what they would tell you in the first place.

That matter's important to me lor.
I ask you to stop breathing because it's not important to me, even if it is to you, so can you?
So in times like this, just suck it up yourself. I guess it's not exactly a good thing to bottle up your emotions, but hey, whatever lar.

What about the other group?
I guess they would just say it's a small matter, and it's ok.
It definitely feels so much better, someone who would understand how you felt!
It makes you feel better when you take everything out, talk about it, discuss, and analyze, and perhaps come to a conclusion about it.

But after it all... the fact remains i can't.
It's like there's still something there.
And it's making me confuse.

I don't know how or what to feel.
Can you tell me?

I would like to say that i don't want to care, but i can't.
If you ask me not to "犯賤", fact remains i can't as well.
It is possible for me to just use something else just to cover it and stop myself from "facing" it... but i realized when i'm faced with it it just makes me feel extra bad. BLAH!!

I guess i don't need anyone to tell me what to do, nor to tell me things would work out... but rather, i just want things to really work out how i want it be.

But would i feel better then?
I don't know.

Why am i so difficult lar!!

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