Thank you!

Being me, being emo is inevitable.

I don't know since when this "emo" thing started, but let's just say it's never a pleasant one every time i go through it.

It's not like i'm having a particularly bad day. If i have, then i guess it's reasonable...

But now, it comes and attack just like that, without even a prior notice.

And mind, it's very often.


I'm someone who likes to see things on the positive side, i never like being negative or feeling negative whether towards myself or any other matter... because it makes me feel bad about myself. When i emo... let's just say the feeling is never good, because when i emo, everything is negative to me, and that makes me even more emo, because i don't like it.

Ok, i'm going around in circles, typically me.

Even when i'm treated "badly", i'll tell myself to think on the positive side and give reasons to why it's so and all... i really don't like to think ill of other people, because like i said... it'll make me feel bad about myself.
But the bad side of this, sometimes i'll tend to withdraw myself. I don't know, it's just me. I'm difficult. I don't even know how to explain this.

I guess that's why i love the beach so much. I'm very attached to it, particularly Redang. It's like, whenever i'm there it's difficult to feel emo. Because if i do, i can always look at the sea and feel good again.
Anyways, being there already feels so good, so i doubt i can even feel anything else apart from happiness there.


I guess i can say i'm lucky that i know how to "psycho-analyze" myself very well. Writing helps a lot too, because it puts everything into perspective and i see everything much clearer. Through analyzing (myself), i know where the "emo-point" is coming from. As in why did i feel emo, is it because of this? Or this?

That said, although i know where the emo is coming from, i will also figure out a solution. But it's easier said than done, because whenever i'm emo, i'll always contradict myself in return. So the solution can be rather redundant.

Although i also tell myself to always look at the positive side, sometimes it's just difficult. I try and try, but...

I guess i just need someone to talk to. I'm not someone who lets out my feelings often, because i fear of being judge. But even though i don't let out my feelings often enough, it's nice to know that there are people who will be there to talk to me just because i'm emo.
It's even better if that person will help me analyze the thing and think of a solution for me, even though i have already analyze it myself, and i KNOW what the solution is. I just need someone to tell me the solution, and who wouldn't judge me in return.

Don't you think humans are rather gatal? You know the problem, you know the solution... but you just need someone to tell you to wake you up. To remind you of the main point and everything else.

Sometimes i let out, but halfway through, i felt as if "ah, it's not important", so i'll sidetracked and change topic. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.


I'm grateful for everyone and everything around me who will always be there for me when i need them. I'm sorry i always emo, i'll try not to be so often. Ah, since i don't let out my feelings often so this is kinda awkward (and fear of being jinx)... but i want everyone to know i'll always be there for them, just like they have always been there for me when i need them!

Thank you (^^ )!